People Pleaser

Like to do things for others? Do you put their concerns and wishes ahead of your own even when it causes you grief? Even when it harms you?

You might be a people pleaser. But make no mistake, you don’t do most of it for them. You do it for yourself. Maybe it’s an insecurity that reflects a need to be liked/loved. Maybe it’s to avoid the discomfort of confrontational situations. Maybe it’s satisfying some part of you that, for whatever reason, needs to feel like you’ve made a sacrifice or done something heroic. Maybe it’s that you want to feel like people owe you. Maybe you like the power you feel when you are the reason why someone else is better off. Maybe you need it to reinforce your feeling that you’re a good person. Maybe you’ve adopted a tendency to feel guilty that you’re trying to avoid. Maybe you like playing the martyr.

The science of behavior holds that we will continue doing those things that get recognized, revered, and rewarded…even if it’s just you recognizing yourself.

Once you truly accept that it’s largely selfish on your part it ought to become easier to go ahead and BE selfish by acting more on your own behalf.

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9 Responses to “People Pleaser”


  1. 1 Loyce October 4, 2012 at 2:15 am

    Hello there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my facebook group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Thank you

  2. 3 Todd Smith October 6, 2012 at 5:20 am

    i love the zen paradox of it all… those who appear to be selfless are actually selfish, and those who appear to be selfish are actually just more honest


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