Foxhole Friends

foxhole

In a military context foxholes are known as a defensive fighting position. When resorting to foxholes the implication is that things are (about to get) tough. You need to be with people you can count on to make it through. People who serve in the military together under these circumstances often stay connected and share a special bond afterwords.

Lots of friends walk through most of our lives. They come and go, but a few special ones last. They may last in our hearts more than they actually do in terms of interactions, but given the perspective that time provides we can tell when they hold a special place. As I look back on my friendships it’s clear to me that the best ones were galvanized by enduring a struggle together. It wasn’t just some special compatibility (though that’s definitely a required ingredient) that caused the lasting bond to form. It was driven by a process that manufactured a need to look deeply within another person, and myself. Intimately. The deep stuff that you can’t get to easily by just hanging around together for a while. Conflict, drama, sadness, fun and joy slowly reveal parts that enable us to make those deep connections.

It’s a rare thing, because it takes more than just some similar tastes and doing a few things together to make it all really click. The best ones happen in spite of seeming incompatibilities on the surface. The stark relief of the differences we share fade into the background as the compelling synergies take over. The fabric of each life is enriched not by the similarities to the other, but by the differences.

The struggle is the catalyst providing the opportunity for that extra, hard to define dimension. This puts a little different spin on the saying, “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” It may be as much because of the teammates we earn as it is from any changes in our own fortitude.

Dedicated to Greg x 2, Marty, Doty, Kyle, John x 2, Steve, Chris x 2, Mike, Jim, Becky, Todd, Michele, Joanna, Danny, Daniel, Karen, Scott x 2, Theresa, Brian, Dana, Georgeann, Mitch, Adam, Rob, Liane, Max, Jon, Blake, and…Sonja. Good friends all (*). But there are a few on this list I shared a proverbial foxhole with, and those experiences along with their character made the depth of the relationship whole.
* Leaving numerous relatives out, as those involuntary relationships inherently had plenty of every imaginable ingredient upon which to form.
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6 Responses to “Foxhole Friends”


  1. 1 Christopher Ehren March 25, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    Buying booze at Skyway Beverage Shoppe…

  2. 2 Todd Smith March 26, 2015 at 12:55 am

    honored to be on the list. one day you should collect all of these profound posts into a book. the book of… post


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