Ripping the Band-Aid Off

child restraint 2

Though speeds are higher than ever, drivers are hardly ever killed in race cars anymore. Their construction has undergone sweeping changes in the past 15 years, much of which has been to make them safer.

F = ma

Force equals mass times acceleration. It’s one of the simplest formulas learned in physics. When 3500 pounds of metal slams into a concrete wall at 220 m.p.h. the violence tells us there is plenty of mass and (de) acceleration. The human body in the car, while having far less mass, still undergoes acceleration that’s often fatal.

So most of the technological changes have revolved around slowing down the crash. We can’t count on the driver being able to slow the car down, but we can use the car to change the deceleration curve for the human. Make the deceleration take longer and the force is more manageable. This, of course, is why modern cars crumple and disintegrate upon impact. They spread the force out over area and time. Air bags further slow the human’s deceleration. Saves lives.

Some will say that when the bad comes it’s better for it to be sudden, like ripping off a band-aid. Take the sudden pain and it’s over with sooner. This rings true for things like band-aid removal, tooth pulling (sometimes), pimple popping, taking bad tasting medicine, and a variety of other things.

But have you ever watched a nurse remove the bandages from a burn victim? That’s not a ‘rip it off’ scenario. How about when a close relative dies? Most people, while not wanting the other person to suffer, seem to appreciate having time to prepare themselves for it. In certain circumstances some of the initial stages of grief can be processed before the boom lowers.

There’s so much wisdom around us telling us to slow down in our lives. To take things in and live in the moment. That often applies to delivering the bad as well. Ripping the band-aid off is better for the deliverer, but not necessarily the recipient. Delivering the news is a burden. And since the deliverer has the power of choosing… We’re all inherently a little selfish, and pretty effective at rationalizing what we want, so unless we’re able to stop and think through it we can sometimes default to sudden, when gradual and gentle would work better. It’s selfish, but understandable.

When there is bad news, ask yourself whether you’d rather find out your mom is dead, or that your mom will be dead in a month. There’s no good way to do it, but where possible time will provide a means for things to sink in, which reduces the force of the blow.

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