Posts Tagged 'failure'

Bravery

suntracks

Bravery is needed to have contrary opinions and to take unexpected paths. It is mustering the courage to face the fear of the unknown. If you’re not courageous, you’re going to be hanging around the water cooler, talking about the person who actually is. That sucks, and it will eventually eat you up, poisoning your joy of life. Don’t let it happen to you.

Where does this courage come from and how do we know whether it’s misguided?

It is a willingness to accept the outcome of what you decide or take action for, rather than the fate of inertia. Mustering courage when it isn’t easy is a function of confidence in oneself and in the world. You are smart and capable. The world provides a lot of help. You can work it out. People far less capable than you have done it. The reason you want to work it out is because of a belief that things can be better, and also because life is a journey. Feeding your sense of adventure is a key to happiness.

As for the misguided part…sure, it’s possible your decision making isn’t well grounded. A little of that is inevitable and okay. Here is where self-examination is your reality check. Historically how has your decision making generally worked out for you? This is not a question of whether decisions led you into difficulty. Our lives are full of challenges that come to us because of AND in spite of decisions we do or do not make. The question is, did the decision take you on a journey that was meaningful? Did you learn and grow? Did you experience more of life? You see, it’s not about what is easy. It’s about what is worthwhile. You’ll never get perfect clarity on anything important.

Bravery is the choice to take a worthwhile journey and open new possibilities.

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The Opposite of Success

shortwaybestway

More linguistic stuff here. Common sense would say that failure is the opposite of success. What if you look at it a little differently? Let’s take “failure” and all its baggage out of our vernacular for a moment. Now, what is the opposite of success?

Lack of success? What is that really? We have not succeeded. We haven’t achieved the intended goal. But what have we done? Is it a dead end? Game (life) over?

What if the opposite of success is growth?

Make the leap of faith here with me for a minute and really try it on. If the opposite of success is growth, then how does that make you feel about trying things? What context does it put the risk into? What does it do to the fear?

 

Missed Versus Execution

keylocklight

When you think back over the last few years, how much of what you haven’t achieved is due to missed opportunities (the product you didn’t launch, the relationship you didn’t foster, the service you didn’t choose to do, the path you didn’t choose, the effort you didn’t extend, the vulnerability you didn’t let through) and how much is the result of doing it poorly?

_____ % missed/avoided   vs.  _____ % incompetence

Now, compare those percentages to where you spend your time, your focus and your anxiety.

 

Failing and Failure

Berlin Wall construction. Was this project a failure?

Berlin Wall construction. Was this project a failure?

The two are not the same. It is possible to fail at something without being a failure. It is also possible to fail without it (the endeavor) being a failure. There are countless examples of this in life, ranging from a person who fails, but succeeds upon subsequent tries, to the one who fails, but still derives a benefit from having engaged. The semantics wind up tied to subjective assessments, but in as much as these perceptions exists in our minds (first) we have license to interpret them in subtly different ways.

It is also possible to maintain the appearance or feeling of succeeding when there is a failure in the background one is not yet aware of, or is perhaps avoiding. Our challenge is in not confusing them by letting our thinking of failure loom larger than it needs to in our lives. Your primitive lizard brain will take any chance to turn those thoughts into fears that will limit you under the guise of safety.

There are tangible benefits to failing. To be continued


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