Posts Tagged 'Time'

Out of Time

timehasrunout

This is it.

As promised over a year ago, this will be the final post for this blog. The reasons for this are primarily:

  1. I think it has reached a point where I am saying many of the same things over and over, only differently. Not useless, but less than ground breaking.
  2. It is time for ME to move on, which has been one of the underlying themes as well.

I figured the last day of the year would be a good time to make the change, but one thing led to another, and I couldn’t get it done. So here we are. It is not easy. I like doing this, but, in addition to the reasons above, I don’t really have time for it anymore.

My plan a year ago was to work through all of the posts I had in a draft state to get them online before signing off. I failed. Just like what happens in life, time caught up and I didn’t get everything done I wanted to do. There are dozens still sitting incomplete. I have decided to let them go. I’m not a big fan of symbolic actions because I think they ultimately don’t work. We know we’re doing it symbolically, which belies our sincerity and speaks as much to a need for drama. Show business can be powerful, but the power is often fleeting. All of that is true in this case as well. So…I’m not suggesting I will not write again. Only that it’s time for this blog to rest in peace.

On the occasion that I go back and read previous posts I am at once astounded and proud of how good and insightful some of them are, and also disappointed at how incomplete or lacking in any innovative thinking others are. To the astute reader, I have revealed a lot here, about myself, and human nature in general.

It was never for anyone but me. I never promoted it or cared how many people looked on. It’s simply my art, and started as a way to get some basic thoughts down. Something about writing things down codifies them, forcing the writer to think rationally in complete sentences and to ground statements and feelings. A worthy exercise, and one I think I got better at over the seven years of posts.

It evolved, as I knew it would, though I found myself surprised at how it evolved. I don’t know how obvious it is, but there was actually a turning point in the nature and presentation of the subject matter. It would be interesting to bring someone in to read through it all to see if that stands out. It’s blatantly obvious to me when I read many of the posts before and after that time. It happened over a number of months, but began here (not coincidentally, that post is the most linked to throughout the rest of the blog, barely beating this one.), and began to get momentum here. Life changes, sometimes in ways that there is no undo button for.

As a sort of farewell gift, I offer up my top 50 favorite posts (not already linked elsewhere in this one), which was an agonizing process that probably wasn’t worth the time it took, especially since the list would likely be different if I did it again next week. I hope that for those who come along later, this might get you started with what’s behind the scenes here. In chronological order…

  1. Common Sense
  2. If the Voltage Gets High Enough…
  3. Boundaries
  4. Start by Doing a Good Job
  5. Religion and Politics
  6. Hierarchy of Money
  7. Science Has a PR Problem Too
  8. Policies
  9. Brass Tacks
  10. Battle of the Unknown
  11. Compromise
  12. Love Will Find a Way
  13. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
  14. The Curse of Perseverance
  15. Love and Trust
  16. I See Dead People
  17. Serendipity
  18. Dedication
  19. The Drain of Friction
  20. The Value of Images
  21. What Life Really Is
  22. Ideal World
  23. The Chosen Ones
  24. Forgive
  25. A Metaphor for Life
  26. The Result of Answers
  27. Creativity
  28. In the Flesh
  29. Move Past Go
  30. The Pretty Girl Gets Kissed
  31. A Beautiful Story
  32. Hope is Not a Strategy
  33. Morality
  34. Caged
  35. Free Will is Fake
  36. Burning Ships
  37. Blind Spot
  38. Delusions
  39. Why Love Wins
  40. Strength
  41. One Step
  42. Trust, the Hidden Part
  43. Probability: Facts, Statistics, and Reality
  44. Changes
  45. Pride and Face
  46. Comfort
  47. Atheism: Instrumental versus intrinsic
  48. Reasons or Excuses
  49. New Information
  50. The Opposite of Success
  51. Bonus: the whole Happiness series

 

And here are a few random facts.

  • The most visitors to the blog in one day was on 1/6/2015, after this post.
  • 2015 was the busiest year for visitors, with 2011 close behind.
  • 2015 also has the most published posts, at 81.
  • Nearly 2,000 unique people visited the blog throughout 2015.
  • After the United States, Germany had the most visitors.
  • The most viewed page, by far, was the home page.
  • The most looked at post was this one, followed by this. It appears traffic to the site was more influenced by my use of a couple of popular terms people search for than the actual content of the blog. Humbling, though not surprising.
  • The longest time gap between when an entry was started and when it was actually completed and posted was 56 months.
  • There are almost 1,000 comments posted across the 493 blog entries.
  • There are over 22,000 comments not posted, as they marked as spam. Unfortunately some of those are/were legitimate comments. I never got to sorting them all out. Sorry about that.
  • There were 520 images posted over the course of the blog. The images are very important, and often contained additional information/meaning.

To quote a friend, “It’s time.” I could drone on about all that I’m thinking as the final letters get typed, and the unused material gets trashed, but it’s a frivolous delay of what I have decided.

It’s a lot like life. Time runs out while we still have things on our to do list.

I do have another potential endeavor in the works. If anything gets going on that I may return here to leave a trail of bread crumbs to it.

And with that, I bid you adieu.

All the best,

David Stewart

 

 

 

 

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Middle

firewalkdudetracks

Every journey has a beginning, and then some space we generally call the middle, once we know where the end is. But not every journey has an end, so the middle is hard to define. Further, when you are in the journey, you sometimes don’t know where you are, other than along a path somewhere. Somewhere in the middle of it.

The beginning may be the most important part. Getting over the inertia of standing pat to get moving is a big deal. But the middle Space – That’s where the action is. The hard work. The grind.

Somewhere around the middle you reach a point of no return. You’ve gone too far to turn back, but can’t see the end. The test to push through. Who you are comes out in that space. Courage is forged. The courage to love.

The brave are broken hearted.

Lucky or Good

Wrong question.

It’s almost always both.

The first question is, how much good is really needed?

Second is, how do you get started? Nobody ever won a game he wasn’t in.

Third is, will you persist long enough to eventually get lucky?

hspics

 

Changes

Continued from yesterday’s Fit or Adapt.

changes

Things change. The world, and our view of it. Some of us are more accepting of change than others, though it depends on the type of change as well as how much we’ve become invested in the status quo.

Once we are adults, the underlying core of who we are is pretty well fixed. It mostly forms in our early years, and then elements are added to it as we learn and grow through adulthood. I’m referring to the core of who we are, not so much our behaviors and ways we interact with the world. Those are informed by our core, but there are layers of conscious and subconscious actions, thoughts, beliefs, and memories in between.

But we can still change in ways that matter. It’s usually pretty slow. Triggered by our experiences and desires, or sometimes through shattering realizations. We usually don’t control it. It just happens to us, though one can do it consciously with great discipline.

Though we aren’t going to make major changes to who we fundamentally are, we sometimes have to adapt to differing circumstances. True adaptation requires often difficult transitions in how we perceive ourselves, which informs how we interact. This type of big change does occur with people sometimes, though it’s pretty rare once we’re adults.

While you may change in ways that make you fit into a situation better, you may at once be changing in ways that cause you to not fit as well into another. This may be by design, and could be a good thing. But it can also be disruptive, especially when you aren’t aware of it.

You change jobs, and move to a different city. After a time, the old place and people may not resonate with you nearly as much. You changed. They didn’t. Everyone is still fundamentally the same at the core, but the layers of things in between that were making it work before have now changed in your case (not theirs). You move on. They move on.

You get married, and have kids. The old relationships and sensibilities no longer work or make sense for you. You changed. Some change more than others through this transition. The ones who don’t get all the way there often struggle with the responsibility of a family.

You experienced things growing up (we all do) that caused you to build layers of boundaries and idiosyncrasies in how you process reality. You are programmed, and some of that programming is a function of you protecting yourself from negative events, feelings, and perceptions earlier in life.

These complicated layers are built on top of the core of who you are, but over time become indistinguishable from it. Until…sometimes…

It unravels. We get a new job, and a new place, but hate it. We long for the old relationships. The marriage changes. The kids grow up, and it’s discovered that a life devoted to that has now left a void. Or, we may find, through a series of events, that we added layers to ourselves that aren’t true to who we are (or want to be) at the core. Once we begin to grapple with all of that and see it more clearly, we begin to change in meaningful ways, even fundamental ones. I maintain that we are still fundamentally the same, but when enough of the extra junk gets stripped away or modified, it’s as if we have fundamentally changed.

I make no qualitative assessment of whether this is good or bad, a step forward or backwards. It simply is a thing that can happen, and may be a double-edged sword.

Suppose a person gets a job in which she is challenged in new ways that never so much as existed for her before, and is able to rise to those challenges, and feels a deep satisfaction relating to it. Self-esteem is at a new high. She wants more. Most of us have reached some new plateaus like this in life. They can bring about a lot of changes. It’s just that for most of us they usually happen when we’re relatively young, and still forming what our lives will be about. Anyway, she soon finds herself running with a different group of people, and is stimulated in ways unimaginable before. She begins to change in ways that go deep. The fundamental kind. Soon, the old life doesn’t satisfy the way it once did. It begins to seem flat and uninspiring. Well, that old life has a spouse and a family. What of them? They didn’t change, nor do anything wrong. Those relationships are now different, and there is probably nothing anyone can do about it.

Or suppose a person realizes through a series of emotionally trying events that his way of interacting with the world had been contrived, based on stuff built up from earlier events. Suddenly he begins to break down walls that were constructed as protection before. More vulnerable now, but also more sensitive to his surroundings. More affected by them. Ways of interacting that were comfortable before now seem hollow and devoid of meaning. Instead he begins to prefer, even needs, a different, perhaps more intimate way of interacting. The old people didn’t change. He did. But that doesn’t make his needs any less valid.

These types of big changes can be great (or not), but they can mess with the lives we have constructed for ourselves in the process. Some may be more or less profound than others, and thus the stress they can introduce varies, which also depends on how others react to it.

These changes aren’t easily avoided (assuming we’d even want to or think it a good idea) because we often don’t see them until we are in a new place looking back. By then it’s too late. We have a new reality now. We are different. Changed. Past tense. It has already happened. The stuff we actually observe as the changing is really just the fallout.

In many situations, especially where close friends, coworkers, family or spouses are involved, one will experience pressure not to change. They are there because they like (the old) you and are comfortable with the way things were. You feel the pressure to stay in it. In some cases these changes force us to grapple with our morality, the stuff we’ve been programmed with that seems unchangeably “right” or “wrong.” Others have put this on us in part so that we don’t approach life too frivolously, but as your awareness increases, it can become a cage. What we’ve previously concocted for ourselves starts to break down as we struggle with thoughts that we’re wrong, bad, evil, immoral, messed up, insane. It is possible we could be any of those things, so a good hard look is in order, but it’s also quite likely we have simply changed and nothing is really wrong, even though it may feel as such. Hopefully things that were barriers have been removed or modified. Change takes different forms, but in any of those it’s not at all easy, or sometimes even feasible to control. It happened, and now you have a new reality you have to work within. It also comes with a new space of possibilities.

What do you do?

  1. Sometimes we can undo it all, if we work hard enough. But usually what we’re really doing is adding another modifying layer on top of it. Life is additive. In time that layer can become pretty real to us, especially when we aren’t aware that’s what we’ve done, but we’re vulnerable to things coming along and stripping that contrived reality away.
  2. I say it’s usually best to take your lumps and move on from the old and into the new. It sucks sometimes. But it’s probably for the best in the long run. This is usually referred to as growth when looked at later.
  3. The option often chosen is to stick it out. Make it work. That’s the caged way. It can be pretty miserable sometimes, or not that noticeable. Think of the people you see who seem complacent in their lives. Some are great at compensating and seem really bubbly on the surface, but when you get closer the angst becomes palpable. Sometimes it can be manageable. It depends on your temperament and how much you are able to push yourself down in favor of avoiding the stress and consequences of the underlying changes. The biggest problem with this is it robs you of happiness. On some level you know it, but many of us are pretty good at glossing over it on the surface. Other things start to affect you in unpredictable ways. The tension may mount, which causes issues, or you may eventually become resigned to it, and even content, but there will always be some unrest in there. Or…it may bubble up enough periodically that you eventually realize you need to opt for #2, which could mean that you just wasted years of your life (and maybe that of others) or possibly passed opportunities by that no longer exist.

Each of these “solutions” kind of sucks in its own way, but #2 has the highest probability of getting you to the other end of the tunnel. The other two may look like tunnels, but aren’t. They are caves with a light in them instead. You can probably survive in there, but you’re never going to see the actual sun.

Change of this type happens to all of us at times in our lives. Usually we’re young enough that we don’t fear following through or just roll with the punches. But when we’re older, more set in our lives, and believe we have more to lose…

changes2flower

 

Diffusion of Blame

finger-pointingx4We find it handy in our culture to be able to ascribe blame for things we don’t like. Consequently we often tend to oversimplify problems. The righteous indignation from those who feel they are on some obvious moral high ground can be palpable.

People do need to be accountable for their actions, but it’s often not so simple as it can appear.

Example: Slave labor in clothing manufacturing.

How do you assign blame for the practice of human beings enslaving other human beings to produce cheap clothing? Do you blame the kidnappers who captured the slaves? Do you blame the smugglers who trafficked them? Do you blame the staffing personnel who bought and hired them? Do you blame the foremen who makes the working conditions harsh? Do you blame the executives who made the policies? Do you blame the investors who financed the factory? Do you blame the brand who sources the clothing from such factories? Do you blame the retailers who carried the brands? Do you blame the consumers who purchased the products?

The truth is that without any one link in the chain the shackles would fall to the ground. However, each link can rationalize that their own little sin isn’t all that bad, or that their hands were tied without reasonably viable options, and that if they weren’t there someone else would come and take their place.

After all, the consumer doesn’t generally feel involved with how brands produce their products. The brands are just trying to give the customers what they want at the right price. In order to do that, they’re willing to make a few sourcing compromises, or simply “can’t” (don’t) afford the time to understand the details of the whole chain. The factories realize that if they’re not doing everything they can to cut costs, they’re going to lose the bid. The foremen believe that if they don’t keep their workers in fear they don’t get the output that they have to have in order to avoid repercussions on themselves. The staffing realizes that if they outspend their competition they’re not going to exist anymore, so they make a compromise and acquire slaves. The traffickers, after all, never kidnapped anyone, they’re just getting them where the slave trader wanted them to go. And the kidnappers themselves? It’s just too lucrative, “if I didn’t do it, someone else would,” then the moral atrocity still takes place and someone else gets paid besides me.

Everyone can sleep at night within their scope of relative sin. Who do you really blame, and what actions must be taken to stop it? Are the people and organizations who might be able to stop it to blame? Government? Usually something eventually happens when a light is shone on something bad, but cockroaches are good at slithering into the shadows and carrying on.

Do you think your life is devoid of these compromises (sins)? We’re a consumption oriented society. Look around your house. Look around your place of work. Really look, and think about where stuff comes from and goes. What business are you in? It’s probably not pure. No, we are all guilty. It’s not black and white at all. We can throw stones at them, but we best be ready to duck a few as well.

Decision Time

BrainDiagramMany decisions come to us in a way that invites, and sometimes requires, immediate action or response. We have complicated machinery working behind the scenes that in those precious seconds will chemically and electrically influence what we do in profound ways.

I wrote recently about the role some chemicals play in our lives. The relative presence or absence of those at any given moment certainly impacts how we act as we’re stimulated. That perturbation of our system then triggers the release of still more associated chemicals, which ride around with us for a while, continuing to impact how we interpret the world.

The electrical system also has a profound influence. Because of the way our brain is physically laid out and wired there is a timing impacting how we register stimuli. Much information about the anatomy of the brain is available online, but for quick reference you can think of the Thalamus as an information hub that routes things where they need to go. The hippocampus is complicated, but in layman’s terms it plays a vital role in processing memories, inhibition, and the way we understand space (as in our spatial awareness). The amygdala also processes memories, but is more focused on emotionally oriented things. Finally the cortex, which is comprised of many subparts, is responsible for our thinking. It plays a key role in consciousness, perception, awareness, language, thought, attention, and memory.

Note how the emotional centers of the Amygdala and Hippocampus are closely tied to the Thalamus. Electrically these areas are able to receive and process information fractions of a second before the more rational parts of our brain get a shot at it. When an input triggers a memory our emotional center is first on the scene, and is able fire back electrical impulses that pull other emotionally relevant memories before we’ve had a chance to “think” about it. And then the chemicals are released to put the rest of our physiology in a complimentary state, which among other things affects the way we process further information and categorize it into memories, which are then retrieved, and so on.

We don’t stand a chance.

There are some biologically sound reasons for it to work this way, but it does trip us up on a regular basis. One can employ techniques to mitigate the tendency to react emotionally to things, but they all require time. The emotional centers have an inherent advantage. If you can pause to begin thinking about it, or distract yourself away from it, you better open the circumstance up for more rational processing. You can write things down, which also engages the more rationally cognizant portions of your brain. You can make a flow chart, or log some if/then statements, etc. You can force yourself to remember something you did well, or achieved, or (ideally) something you did that helped someone. Your chemicals will reinforce your efforts here.

It all starts with the recognition that your emotions are out in front of your thinking, which means even your thinking becomes based on an emotional context…until you change the context with other thinking and emotions.

Do We Have to Lie in that Bed?

CaveiPadIt would be nice if we could figure out how to use our human ability to reason to overcome the emotional characteristics of our species that are evolved adaptations for a lifestyle of consuming and reproducing.

Our species started in an environment much different than the one we currently inhabit. The survival of any individual proto-human was something that wasn’t certain on a day-to-day basis; food was scarce, predators were many, writing and language weren’t invented yet (so the formation of social groups had to be done by much cruder methods), and unchecked growth wasn’t nearly the problem it is today.

Because of our ability to dramatically shape the environment in which we live — on a timescale much shorter than evolution can respond to, no less —  the environment that shaped us is no longer the environment in which we live. On a daily basis, we’re incredibly safe, there’s plentiful food for (almost) everyone, we have the means to communicate abstractly to form social groups, and the space and resources available to us will no longer support unchecked, exponential growth. The adaptations that we carry that made us fit to consume and reproduce then no longer serve us now. 

However, we still have the instincts that made our ancestors fit for their environment. Fear, anxiety, and the fight-or-flight response still haunt us in situations where they’re hardly appropriate (giving an important business presentation is hardly as dramatic of an issue as potentially getting mauled by a predator that’s just ten feet away). Over-eating at individual meals still happens, despite the fact that food is generally plentiful enough that we don’t need to stock up between rare opportunities. We still obsess over social acceptance, despite the fact that we’re nowhere near as reliant on our immediate social groups for survival as we were in the past.

All of these ill-suited behaviors cause a tremendous amount of unneccessary suffering. Consuming and reproducing are no longer particularly appropriate behaviors, yet the sophisticated industrial machine knows just how to tap into our evolutionary insecurities (via advertising) to be able to convince us to worry about both.

Having a reliable way to reason ourselves off of the evolutionary path of least resistance would improve our collective lives immensely — we could combat the unjustified anxiety many experience daily, we could lead fulfilling lives without succumbing  to the immediate whims of society, we could avoid the problems associated with over-consumption and over-reproduction — the list goes on and on.



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